Ever since Mr. Coronavirus waved his disease-ridden middle finger at the entire world, I’ve had to make up for the loss of exercise from our community pool (which might look like a large pond of green Jello by now if they haven’t been chlorinating it) by taking more walks than I ever have.
According to the Health app on my iPhone, I walked an average of 3.1 miles (about 5 kilometers) a day in October, which is just short of 100 miles (about 16,093,400 millimeters). See, the metric system is so awesome because it makes it so easy to convert measurements. Look Ma, I walked over 160 million micrometers last month!
Anyway, as a result of all that walking, Carolyn tells me I could probably hammer a nail with my butt. So I tried it. Unfortunately, I had the nail turned the wrong way. (It is quite difficult to see back there!)
One of the two benefits of that misguided attempt includes the expression of the emergency room doctor. After he asked why I was there, I told him it was because I had been nailed in the butt.
The other is that I can revel in even more priceless expressions when I tell people that I now have two butt holes.
Sometimes you’ve gotta sacrifice your body for your art.
So what does A Stone Age Circus in Portugal mean, you might ask, as you carefully steer the topic away from my bottom?
Cue the projector!
Okay, now cue the circus music: Da da daddla da da dah dah dah!